Mastering Emotional Intelligence (EQ) – Healthy Self-Actualization

Emotional Intelligence is the loving facilitator for "how" we do "what" we do.

Through coaching and training thousands of people around the world over the past twenty years, I have gained a deeper understanding of how to effectively engage your emotional intelligence for personal and leadership development. 

In this article I am continuing to share some of my insights while specifically referencing the 15 skills and competencies of the EQ-i 2.0 model of emotional intelligence. 


Self-actualization involves a desire and willingness to grow and expand yourself. Healthy self-actualization is guided by your authentic self - who you truly are at your core - and you engage it because you "truly want to" - not because you "have to", "should", "must" or "ought to". 

Therefore, mastery of self-actualization involves the curious exploration of two key perspectives. The first perspective is desire. With desire you simply ask and answer: What do I truly want? But answering this question is not enough. And why? Because deciding to do something is not the same thing as doing something. 

So, intention is the next perspective to explore. With intention you simply ask and answer: How do I want to live and be my desires? That is, how do I bring what I truly want into form - and live and be it - as opposed to just thinking about it. 

Healthy self-actualization is not an egoic compulsion for improvement that comes at all costs, including the costs to both yourself and others around you. It is about being centered and grounded in your authentic desires and intentions even when others may be disagreeing with them and even arguing that they are wrong. 

My clients who demonstrate healthy self-actualization are consciously pursuing meaningful growth and development that is guided by their loving intuition as opposed to being driven by their fearful ego. They are committed to practicing and mastering how they do what they do – art, business, health care, law, science and technology etc. - and experience a sense of joy when doing so. The outcome they inevitably share is a happier and more peaceful, focused and productive life.  

Curious to learn more? If you are interested in some of the proven research on the benefits of healthy EQ engagement and development, please visit